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The Republican Party in chaos?
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2018 7:12 pm    Post subject: Ryan Will Retire After He's Wrecked Country Reply with quote

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Paul Ryan Says He Will Retire Once He Has Wrecked Country

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Starting 2018 with a political bombshell, House Speaker Paul Ryan said on Tuesday that he will retire once he is satisfied that he has completely wrecked the country.

“I came to Washington with the goal of destroying life in the United States as we know it,” Ryan said in an emotional press conference. “Once I look around me and see nothing but smoldering ruins, I’ll call it a day.”

Asked by a reporter whether, by passing the Republican tax bill, he had not in fact already wrecked the country, the House Speaker responded, “That was an important step in the right direction, but, make no mistake, there is much havoc left to wreak.”

“There’s a lot of talk about the millions of people who will lose their health care, but no one one talks about the tens of millions who still have it,” he said. “That just shows how much work I still have to do.”

Speaking solemnly about the challenging path of destruction that lies ahead of him, Ryan said, “I have many lives to wreck before I sleep.”


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2018 7:17 pm    Post subject: Reps Sadly Admit Their Dream Is Over Reply with quote

These are old, but I don't know whether they was posted before. super grin

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Republicans Sadly Admit Their Dream of Keeping Poor People from Living Longer Is Over

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saddened and more than a little wistful, Senate Republicans acknowledged on Tuesday that their long-standing dream of keeping poor people from living longer was at its end.

Choking back tears, Senator Lindsey Graham admitted that his crusade to halt the longevity of the poor had turned out to be a quixotic one at best.

“We made a solemn promise to the American people that we would do everything in our power to keep the poor from living so darn long,” he said, his voice quavering. “We didn’t get it done.”

While saying that he did not want to “play the blame game,” Graham could not resist pointing fingers at senators who broke ranks with the G.O.P. leadership over its quest to stall the poor’s unacceptably surging life expectancy.

“I always thought that preventing the poor from living longer was a bedrock Republican principle,” he said bitterly. “I guess I was wrong.”

On the House side, Speaker Paul Ryan urged Graham not to wallow in defeat but to move on to other Republican agenda items, like tax reform. “We may not be able to keep the poor from living longer, but we can still make them poorer,” he said.


Satire from The Borowitz Report
Koch Brothers Consider Purchasing First Democrat

WICHITA (The Borowitz Report)—Charles and David Koch, the billionaire industrialists who have spent decades acquiring a world-class collection of Republicans, revealed over the weekend that they are considering purchasing their first Democrat.

“We’ve always bought Republicans, and our father bought Republicans before us,” Charles, the elder Koch, said. “They’re bred to be obedient, and they respond to simple commands.”

He said that he and his brother had considered acquiring a Democrat only after determining that none of the Republicans on offer this year was worth adding to their collection.

“It’s kind of a scary proposition for us, because we’ve never owned a Democrat before,” he said. “We don’t really know what we should be looking for.”

Koch said that he and his brother learned, after making some phone calls, that other oligarchs have bought Democrats in the past, and “had good experiences with them.”

“That was very reassuring,” he said.

But he bemoaned the absence of online consumer reviews that could help people who are, like him and his brother, interested in purchasing a Democrat for the very first time. “Yelp needs to jump on this,” he said.

While acknowledging the risk inherent in owning their first Democrat, Koch said that it would probably turn out to be a better investment than some of the Republicans they have recently purchased. “It can’t be worse than Scott Walker,” he said.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2018 10:35 pm    Post subject: Trump Takes Out Ryan, and ‘It’s Going to Be a Civil War' Reply with quote

Donald Trump Takes Out Paul Ryan, and ‘It’s Going to Be a Civil War’
Everything Trump touches dies, and the speaker’s legacy is no exception.
Rick Wilson

The news that Paul Ryan is retiring from Congress was received by grim-faced members of the GOP caucus finally realizing what they’ve done, and what’s coming. Ryan pulled the ripcord Wednesday after a 19-year career in Congress, declaring he would leave Washington at the end of his current term to spend more time with his existential angst over what he let Donald Trump do to our country.

The happy talk about holding the House is over. The spin for the press, the rubes, and the donor class just came to a shrieking halt. Nancy Pelosi is in her crone cavern, cackling with glee, knowing that the Democrats are now in play in almost 80 congressional seats. The general of the House Republican army just announced he’s leaving the field just as the tide of political war looks most grim.

Ryan and his caucus hoped to run on the tax cut, the economy, and infrastructure. All of these messages now will be swept aside. Ryan owns his share of the blame; too often, he behaved as if he was some deferential junior VP at a Trump resort and not the leader of the House of Representatives in a co-equal branch of government. The idea, popular among the House leadership, that a diet of ass-kissing and deference would make Trump into a normal president who didn’t need the political equivalent of Depends was always a strategic mistake.

Ryan is now paying the price. The rest of his caucus will pay in the fall.

The election season will now feature a Republican leadership fight with all the reality-TV tropes we’ve come to expect in this vulgar, stupid age, as it inevitably devolves into a shabby bidding war over who will be more amenable and obedient to Donald Trump. The purity tests from Fox News, the screeching teenagers in the Donnie Trump Tiger Beat Breitbart Fan Club, and Trump himself will ensure this contest—like every damn thing in America today—is All About Him.

Ryan’s unfulfilled agenda, including entitlement reform, is now a dead letter, along with the hopes so many in the conservative movement had reposed in him. The Kochs and dozens of other free-market folks were invested in Paul Ryan’s future. Those investments were squandered like Granny’s Social Security check at the Trump Taj Mahal. Regardless of who succeeds Ryan, the agenda of limited-government conservatism based on fiscal probity, personal responsibility, free trade, and limited government is as dead as Donald Trump’s marriage.

A top Ryan aide texted me this morning: “It’s going to be a civil war. No one knows how bad this will get. Kevin [McCarthy] is such a fucking moron he’s going to get rolled by Pelosi every day. FML.”

Another Ryan insider echoed the “civil war” sentiment, and noted that Ryan’s decision will set off still another wave of Republican retirements.

This week marked the final surrender of the GOP on the central economic issues of our time: the debt and entitlement reform. Did our talk ever truly match our walk when it came to the economy? Not as often as I’d like, and I’m sure Ryan feels the same.

Still, he was a fluent translator of Conservative to English, a bridge between Hayek and hope. He lacked the needy edge and insecurities so evident in this president and so beloved of the new GOP. Ryan had been the endpoint of a conservative philosophical movement that combined Jack Kemp’s optimism about growth, opportunity, economic freedom, and the value of work with a profound understanding of the painful need to reform how the federal government operates.

Kiss that goodbye. Trump’s economic message is profoundly, inalterably negative, defensive, small, and bitter. It’s about how stupid Americans are, and how the wily Chinese and murderous Mexicans are stealing from us, tricking us, and robbing us blind.

His base is conditioned to having their fear centers endlessly stimulated by his constant drip of apocalyptic, conspiratorial rhetoric and fed hazy promises of the creation of walls, the smiting of the Asians, the launching of trade wars, and the kicking of a$$es.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2018 11:01 pm    Post subject: Paul Ryan's Real Legacy: Donald Trump Reply with quote

Paul Ryan's Real Legacy: Donald Trump

He could have stood up to Trump. He didn’t. Not really at least.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/paul-ryan-legacy-trump_us_5ace4180e4b0648767761deb?Paul Ryan’s Real Legacy: Donald Trump

By Matt Fuller

House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) announced Wednesday that he would not
seek re-election in November, prompting the normal convulsions of
Washington praise for Ryan and his “legacy.”

President Donald Trump tweeted that no one could question Ryan’s
“legacy of achievement,” and Ryan himself said he was proud of all the
things he had accomplished as speaker, namely the tax cuts he helped push
through last year and the big increases to military spending he oversaw
last month.

But aside from a failed policy agenda — which you can read about here
— Paul Ryan’s real legacy will always be this: A feckless leader who
oversaw Trump’s takeover of the Republican Party and of Congress.

For all the posturing Ryan did in May 2016 about how he wasn’t ready to
endorse Trump, for all the light rebukes of racism or the vacillating
support after the Access Hollywood tape, the speaker led reluctant
Republicans right to Trump’s feet.

Perhaps no person has done as much to normalize or enable Trump as Ryan,
because everyone implicitly believed the speaker might stand up at some
point and that it might matter. In so many ways, Ryan was supposed to be
the anti-Trump. His squeaky-clean looks and talking points temperament run
completely counter to a man who seemingly says and does whatever he wants.

Ryan toyed so many times with not backing Trump during the campaign: After
denouncing Trump’s proposed Muslim ban; after calling Trump’s attacks
on a judge of Mexican descent “textbook” racism; after saying he
wouldn’t campaign for a man so proud of his ability to “grab them by
the pussy.”

And yet, by the very end of the campaign, Ryan found a way to support him.
And once Trump was elected, Ryan found new ways to accept the
president’s abuses. He made excuses that Trump was “new at this.” He
watched the House Intelligence Committee become a partisan circus amid
serious questions about Russian interference in U.S. elections. And he
stood by silently, ignoring the tweets ― even joking about ignoring the
tweets ― as Trump has lied, attacked the media and debased the
presidency on a near-daily basis.

Paul Ryan’s name is now synonymous with the cowardice of the Republican
Party. Even when Trump’s policies directly contradicted the GOP, like
they have with free trade or government spending, Ryan found a way to fuse
Trump’s stark vision with one that might be palatable to Republicans.
And even when Trump insisted that, no, he meant exactly what he said, like
he did after Ryan insisted on a “scalpel” approach to tariffs, Ryan
backed away from directly standing up to the president.

That’s been a price Ryan was willing to pay. Trump has been the empty
vessel that Ryan desired to sign Republican policies, like the tax cuts he
touts as a major rewrite of the tax code. And Trump’s lack of
involvement in crafting policies like those in the massive $1.3 trillion
omnibus bill was key to its passage. (Trump didn’t get his border wall,
but he never seemed to truly understand that. And the huge increases in
spending that might have given another Republican president pause were
quickly accepted when aides told Trump that vetoing the bill might result
in him catching blame for a shutdown and having to miss a weekend at
Mar-a-Lago. “f*ck that,” the president said, according to The Wall
Street Journal.)

But part of Ryan’s legacy should also be in the disappearing role of
Congress. Where the Trump administration could have used rigorous
oversight, Republican lawmakers have taken a cue from the speaker and just
accepted the president’s business dealings as unworthy of investigation.
The Oversight Committee is uninterested in examining why Cabinet
secretaries are flying around on private jets or in first class, or how
they’re renting Capitol Hill apartments from lobbyists for $50 per

Despite the president’s decision to launch a missile strike against
Syria once before and now threatening more military engagement in the
coming days, there hasn’t been a single hearing on the legal
justification for that war. Ryan came into the speakership saying he’d
like to vote on a new Authorization for Use of Military Force to fight the
self-described Islamic State, but a new AUMF vote never came. He
wouldn’t even allow the debate, just as he’s blocked legislation to
permanently fix the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals immigration
program that Trump canceled last year.

While it’s not new for a speaker to stymie certain legislation, Ryan has
taken the job to new heights. During his entire speakership, there has
been only one bill that came to the floor under what’s called an “open
rule,” meaning anyone can offer an amendment to the legislation ― and
even then, it wasn’t truly an open rule, as there were pre-printing
requirements and a prohibition on amendments striking the last word.

And all the while, Ryan has claimed with a straight face that the process
in Congress has been “phenomenal.” (He actually said that the same day
the House voted on a 2,232-page omnibus bill that was released about 15
hours earlier.)

In many ways, that should be how Ryan is remembered: Confidently claiming
that what he’s doing, or the things Republicans have accomplished, are
major feats, that he’s a serious policy thinker even when his actions
are nakedly political, and that he’s being honest and forthright when
he’s being anything but.
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:55 pm    Post subject: New Travel Ban Preventing Rep Senators from Fleeing Reply with quote

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Signs New Travel Ban Preventing Republican Senators from Fleeing

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump on Wednesday signed an emergency travel ban preventing Republicans from fleeing the United States Senate.

In a sombre Oval Office ceremony, a grim-faced Trump signed the ban, which he said would remain in effect “until we figure out what the hell is going on.”

The executive order calls for the relocation of three hundred Border Patrol officers from the Mexican border to Washington, D.C., in order to form what Trump called “a human ring of steel” around the Capitol Building.

Under the travel ban, Republican senators will be permitted to leave their seats in the Senate chamber for meals and bathroom breaks but will be strictly forbidden from speaking to journalists in the building’s corridors.

Susan Collins, of Maine, one of the Republicans affected by the ban, called attention to the growing humanitarian crisis inside the Capitol. “If you have a shred of decency, Mr. President, let us leave the Senate,” Collins said. “Let us follow our dream of a better life.”

In retaliation, Trump reportedly told Border Patrol agents that if Collins is caught trying to escape she should be returned to the Senate and forced to sit next to Ted Cruz.

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PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2018 1:17 am    Post subject: 76% Of Republicans Are Complete Idiots Reply with quote

New Poll Reveals That 76% Of Republicans Are Complete Idiots
The Ring of Fire
Published on May 6, 2018
According to a new poll, 76% of Republicans believe that Donald Trump is a “consistent truth-teller.” In other words, 76% of Republicans have completely lost their minds and have no idea how to separate reality from fantasy. This presents a big problem for the country, as these reality-denying Republicans will never come around to the rational side of things. Ring of Fire’s Farron Cousins discusses this.



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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2018 1:13 am    Post subject: How Trump Got GOP To Lose Its Mind Reply with quote

How Donald Trump Got the Republican Party To Lose Its Mind
The Young Turks
Streamed live 7 hours ago
Download audio and video of the full two hour show on-demand + the members-only post game show by becoming a member at http://www.tytnetwork.com/join/. Your membership supports the day to day operations and is vital for our continued success and growth.


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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2018 1:23 am    Post subject: Why Are Republicans So Brainwashed? Reply with quote

Trump Is A Total Fraud, So Why Are Republicans So Brainwashed?
The Ring of Fire
Published on May 13, 2018
Conservatives bend and twist logic at every possible opportunity in order to serve their master Donald Trump. But why? Nearly everything this man says or does can be exposed as a complete fraud, yet the MAGA crowd continues to believe that he’s the greatest president ever. Ring of Fire’s Farron Cousins explains why Republicans are so willing to be lied to – and why they refuse to accept reality.


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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2018 9:30 pm    Post subject: Collective IQ of Republican voters Reply with quote

I think the collective IQ of Republican voters has been lowered considerably. It seems conservatives are much more ignorant than first thought as demonstrated by the resident ostriches on this site.... super grin
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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2018 9:44 pm    Post subject: Re: Collective IQ of Republican voters Reply with quote

inkling7 wrote:
I think the collective IQ of Republican voters has been lowered considerably. It seems conservatives are much more ignorant than first thought as demonstrated by the resident ostriches on this site.... super grin

Yeah, UnMask said that he wasn't wearing blinders. He doesn't have to. Who needs blinders with one's head in the sand? bleh
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