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Humour in Politix
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murat



Joined: 13 Dec 2005
Posts: 1357
Location: New York

PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2017 8:06 pm    Post subject: Joke contest Reply with quote

Frankie Boyle came second with a joke about Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler ("Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book."),

Ken Cheng has won the 10th annual Dave's Joke of the Fringe competition for a joke about the new pound coin.

Cheng'stopped a list of 15 jokes, compiled by a panel of 10 comedy critics, and then voted on by 2,000 members of the public, who did not know the identity of the comedians
Frankie Boyle came second with a joke about Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler ("Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book."), while the list also included one-liners by Alexei Sayle, Ed Byrne and Tim Vine.

The full list of shortlisted jokes:

    * I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change. Ken Cheng
    * Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book. Frankie Boyle
    * I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point? Alexei Sayle
    * I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her. Lew Fitz
    * I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated. Andy Field
    * Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant. Mark Simmons
    * I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it… Jimeoin
    * I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house. Ed Byrne
    * I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine. Olaf Falafel
    * Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!' Alasdair Beckett-King
    * A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event. Angela Barnes
    * As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer. Adele Cliff
    * For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it. Phil Wang
    * I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark. Adam Hess
    * I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act. Tim Vine

Ex professional poker player Cheng, who reached the final of the 2015 BBC Radio New Comedy Award and is performing his sh said: "I am very proud to have won. As a tribute, I will name my firstborn son after this award and call him 'Joke of the Fringe'."

Steve North, General Manager of Dave said: "From Trump and veganism to the new pound coin, this year's news agenda has certainly also provided some great inspiration for comedians to get grips with. It's fantastic to see that, even after 10 years of the Joke of the Fringe award, there is no shortage of brilliant one-liners delivered at the Festival to get us all laughing."

Previous winners of the award include Masai Graham, Tim Vine, Rob Auton, Stewart Francis, Zoe Lyons and Nick Helm.
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Lyta



Joined: 31 Jul 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 3:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Joke contest Reply with quote

murat wrote:
Frankie Boyle came second with a joke about Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler ("Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book."),

Yeah, he had to have a ghostwriter for "The Art of the Deal"! super grin

However, one could make a book with all his tweets, spelling mistakes and "cowfefe" included. shameless grin
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Angela



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PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 9:25 pm    Post subject: DC Airport Ticket Agent Reply with quote

A long time ago, I have read most of these short conversations but they were attributed to "blondes". This time, I suspect that they may have been "borrowed" and attributed to politicians to make a political point. Even if you have no doubts about the high IQ, the general culture and intellectual capacity of all our politicians, Independently, from who said the stupidity, it is still stupid and worth a chuckle! "Live, laugh and love" and, most of all, don't take life (or my posts in The Funnies) too seriously !!!
>
> A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of
> 'why' our country is in trouble:
>
> 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter D)
> ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get
> messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
>
> 2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore D)
> staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I
> started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
> information, and then he interrupted me with,
> ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid,
> but Capetown is in Massachusetts ....''
>
> Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained,
> ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in
> Africa '' his response -- click.
>
> 3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders D) –prez
> candidate---called, furious about a Florida package we did.
> I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He
> said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain
> that's not possible, since
> Orlando is in the middle of the state.He replied,
> 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is
> a very thin state!'' (OMG)
>
> 4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid D)
> who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from
> Canada ?''
>
> I said, ''No.'' She said,
> ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG,
> again!)
>
> 5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano D) once
> called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled
> up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover
> in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
> said, ''I heard Dallas
> was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between
> gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
>
> 6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky D) called last
> week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight
> from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33
> a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead
> of Illinois , but she couldn't
> understand the concept of time zones.
>
> Finally,
> I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
>
> 7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler D) called and asked,
> ''Do airlines put your physical description on your
> bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I
> said, 'No, why do you ask?' He replied,
> ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put
> a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm
> overweight. I think that's very
> rude!''
>
> After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into
> it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the
> city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal),
> and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his
> luggage.
>
> 8 A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross D) called to
> inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over
> all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper
> to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii
> ?''
>
> 9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman,
> Bobby Bright D from Ala who asked, ''How do I
> know which plane to get on?'' I asked
> him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I
> was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes
> have
> that number on them.''
>
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein D called and said, ''I
> need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on
> one of those little computer planes?'' I asked
> if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. She
> said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
>
11. Mary Landrieu D , La. Senator called and had a question
> about the documents she needed in order to fly to
> China. After a lengthy discussion about
> passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh,
> no I don't. I've been to China many times and never
> had to have one of those.''
>
> I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.
> When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been
> to China four times and every time they have accepted my
> American Express!''
>
> 12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler D) called to make
> reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino,
> New York .'' I was at a loss for words.
> Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name
> of the town?'' 'Yes, what flights do you
> have?'' replied
> the man.
>
After some
> searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir,
> I've looked up every airport code in the country and
> can't find a rhino anywhere."
> ''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be
> silly! Everyone knows where it is.
> Check your map!'' So I scoured a map of the state
> of New York and finally offered, ''You don't
> mean Buffalo , do you?'' The reply?
> ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
>
> Now you know why the Government is in the shape that
> it's in! Could anyone be this DUMB?
>

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS,AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED..
"The past is history, the future is mystery, each new day is a gift... that is why it is called a present"
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Lyta



Joined: 31 Jul 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 9:32 pm    Post subject: DC Airport Ticket Agent Reply with quote

I can't help noticing that, strangely enough, all the politicians being made fun of here are Democrats. I refuse to believe Bernie Sanders or Diane Feinstein would be that dumb and ignorant.

This said, it was funny. That obviously Republican airline agent has a politically directed sense of humor. A Democrat would have attributed the quotes to W, Romney, Quayle, and of course Trump!! wink bleh
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inkling7
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Joined: 01 Jun 2008
Posts: 6218
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 10:32 pm    Post subject: DC Airport Ticket Agent Reply with quote

I have actually seen that joke only all the politicians were Republicans so you are quite right about the political bias.... I didn't find it that funny when first saw it and still don't now...I guess I have become a bit jaded with US politics now.... super grin
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murat



Joined: 13 Dec 2005
Posts: 1357
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 8:42 pm    Post subject: A Short History of the 45 US Presidents Reply with quote

http://www.avenueviet.com/forums/album_page.php?pic_id=1771


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Pungconk



Joined: 03 Mar 2005
Posts: 167
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 8:45 pm    Post subject: A Short History of the 45 US Presidents Reply with quote

It wouldn't be so bad if he were "only" a clown. What's really bad is that he's a DANGEROUS clown. Eek
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Annamite_en_Amérique



Joined: 20 Jun 2009
Posts: 1653
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2017 10:21 am    Post subject: Thanks to Trump, Bar Officially Cannot Be Lowered Reply with quote

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Bar Officially Cannot Be Lowered

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—A group of scholars who have been monitoring the descent of the bar over the past few decades have concluded that the bar can no longer be lowered, the scholars announced on Friday.

The academics, led by Professor Davis Logsdon, of the University of Minnesota, published their conclusion after their research definitively found that the bar had finally dropped to its lowest possible position.

“For those who thought the bar still had room to be lowered, our findings resoundingly contradict that assumption,” Logsdon said. “The bar is now essentially flush with the ground.”

Logsdon acknowledged that he and his fellow scholars have come under fire in the past for claiming that the bar could not be further lowered, specifically when they issued a paper to that effect after the selection of the Republican Vice-Presidential nominee in 2008.

“We got that one wrong,” he said. “Clearly, the bar still had a way to go.”

Now that the issue of whether the bar can be further lowered has been settled, Logsdon and his colleagues plan to examine the question of whether there is anything left to scrape at the bottom of the barrel. “Our findings are preliminary, but it appears that the answer is no,” he said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/bar-officially-cannot-be-lowered
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Drifter



Joined: 26 Oct 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2017 6:19 pm    Post subject: WH Staff prepares for press conference Reply with quote

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Do Quy



Joined: 03 Aug 2007
Posts: 835
Location: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

PostPosted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:37 pm    Post subject: Comics on Trump's IQ in Best of Late Night Reply with quote

This has also been posted in Politix. super grin

Comics on Trump's IQ in Best of Late Night
What kind of man challenges his secretary of State to an IQ test? Guess. Take a look at our favorite jokes, then vote for yours at usatoday.com/opinion.

https://youtu.be/myLgaC3obJI



*****
Cooper sarcastically plays Trump's 'best jokes'

CNN's Anderson Cooper took shots at President Donald Trump for challenging his Secretary of State Rex Tillerson to an IQ test and bragging that he would win.

https://youtu.be/WXz4op45RcI


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