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Making fun of the Trump Gang
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Drifter



Joined: 27 Oct 2005
Posts: 245

PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2018 10:37 pm    Post subject: Comics on Michael Cohen and FBI raid Reply with quote

Comics on Michael Cohen and FBI raid in Best of Late Night
USA TODAY
Published on Apr 10, 2018
From more Stormy Daniels dirt to possible financial deals with Russia, take a look at our favorite jokes, then vote for yours at usatoday.com/opinion.

https://youtu.be/JHCq7dPnY7s


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Annamite_en_Amérique



Joined: 20 Jun 2009
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Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2018 11:11 pm    Post subject: Trump Strikes Back Reply with quote

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Sends National Guard to His Accountant’s Office

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In what some experts are calling an unprecedented use of military force, Donald J. Trump on Tuesday ordered four thousand National Guard troops to protect the midtown Manhattan offices of his accountant.

According to those familiar with the National Guard’s deployment, the troops will secure the corridors and elevator banks in the vicinity of the accounting firm that prepares Trump’s taxes.

The troops, whose mission is being called “Operation Safe Returns,” are expected to arrive on Wednesday, after making the two-thousand-mile journey from the Mexican border.

At the White House, Trump defended his decision to use the nation’s military to protect his accountant’s offices. “Yesterday our country was attacked,” he said. “Never again.”

Trump’s unilateral decision to invade Manhattan drew a muted response in diplomatic circles around the world, with many allies taking a cautious “wait and see” attitude.

In North Korea, Kim Jong Un said that he still planned to have a May summit with the U.S. President, “whoever that is by then.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-sends-national-guard-to-his-accountants-office
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Le NewYorkais



Joined: 17 Oct 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:31 pm    Post subject: Trump Accuses Clinton of Deliberately Losing Election Reply with quote

This is an old one, but don't remember whether it's been posted here before. If it has, sorry for the double post, No harm in repeating a funny column. shameless grin

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Accuses Clinton of Deliberately Losing Election So He Could Be Impeached

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what might be his most startling allegation against his former election opponent, Donald Trump on Wednesday accused Hillary Clinton of deliberately losing the 2016 election just so that he could be impeached.

“How could one of the most experienced politicians in history lose to the most unfit candidate ever?” Trump asked reporters. “Crooked Hillary lost on purpose because she wanted me to be impeached.”

Explaining Clinton’s motives for intentionally sabotaging her quest for an office she had coveted for decades, Trump said, “Hillary Clinton is more than a nasty woman. She is an evil woman, and her sick mind is capable of anything.”

Trump said that instead of reporting the “fake story” of his campaign’s collusion with the Russians, the media should focus on Clinton’s “diabolical scheme to lose the election.”

“I don’t know if Hillary Clinton lost the election on her own,” Trump said. “Maybe she asked the Russians to help her lose. But the fact is, Hillary Clinton deliberately plotted to put me in the White House, and the American people should be very angry about that.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-accuses-clinton-of-deliberately-losing-election
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Do Quy



Joined: 03 Aug 2007
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Location: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2018 5:23 pm    Post subject: Late-night laughs: Sean Hannity Reply with quote

Late-night laughs: Sean Hannity named legal client of Michael Cohen
Washington Post
Published on Apr 17, 2018
The legal team for President Trump's personal lawyer, Micheal Cohen, on April 16 identified Sean Hannity as a former client of Cohen'

https://youtu.be/8y6TW2mk4ZY


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Annamite_en_Amérique



Joined: 20 Jun 2009
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2018 12:56 pm    Post subject: The Return of Rudy Reply with quote

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Hires Only Lawyer in U.S. with Fewer Clients Than Michael Cohen

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The White House announced on Thursday that Donald Trump had successfully secured the services of Rudolph Giuliani, after an exhaustive search for an attorney with fewer clients than Michael D. Cohen.

“President Trump had become concerned in recent days that Mr. Cohen might be too distracted to pay full attention to his case, what with him having two other clients and all,” Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House press secretary, said. “So the search was on for a lawyer with zero clients, and with the hiring of Mayor Giuliani, the President believes he has hit the jackpot.”

Speaking to reporters, Giuliani agreed that, by virtue of having three fewer clients than Cohen, he was uniquely qualified to give Trump his full attention. “There is absolutely no chance of my ever putting him on hold,” Giuliani said.

While the former New York mayor’s hiring got high marks from Trump’s inner circle, it drew a bitter reaction from Chris Christie, the former governor of New Jersey, who angrily pointed out that he had not been considered for the job despite having as few clients as Giuliani. “Not only do I have absolutely no clients, I have even less going on, career-wise, than Rudy Giuliani,” Christie said. “Once again, I’ve been screwed.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-hires-only-lawyer-in-us-with-fewer-clients-than-michael-cohen
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Annamite_en_Amérique



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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2018 1:00 pm    Post subject: Pence Asks Jesus to Rapture Him Up... Reply with quote

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Pence Asks Jesus to Rapture Him Up Before Mueller Can Indict Him

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him, a source close to Pence confirmed on Friday.

Shortly after the former national-security adviser Michael Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the F.B.I., Pence contacted Jesus to discuss the early rapture proposal, the source said.

The source characterized Pence’s request to be raptured up as “urgent” but did not indicate whether the Vice-President asked Jesus to rapture up any other senior Administration officials.

“Some of these people will have to be left behind, for obvious reasons,” the source said. “Jared, for example.”

After the news of Pence’s conversation with Jesus leaked to the press, the Vice-President released an official statement, intended to tamp down speculation about his rapture request.

“I had a good conversation with Jesus Christ earlier in the day,” the statement read. “We touched on the timetable of my rapturing-up, along with a broad range of other issues. That is all I have to say at the present time.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/pence-asks-jesus-to-rapture-him-up-before-mueller-can-indict-him
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Doan_Du
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:43 pm    Post subject: Russians Involved in Trump Campaign Hold Reunion Reply with quote

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Russians Involved in Trump Campaign Hold Reunion

MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—Marking the one-year anniversary of the 2016 U.S. Presidential election, Russians who played key roles in the Trump campaign gathered for a reunion in Moscow’s Red Square.

The reunion gave hundreds of thousands of Russians an opportunity to celebrate and share warm memories of their successful 2016 effort.

Alexey Zholtovsky, a computer specialist who set up over ten thousand separate troll accounts on social-media sites to benefit the Republican nominee, called the reunion a chance for Russians who worked on the Trump campaign to finally meet each other face to face.

“A lot of these people were just electronic funds transfers to me before today,” he said.

Vasilisa Lokhvitskaya, an intelligence analyst with close ties to the Kremlin, said that she “very much enjoyed getting to know” Donald Trump, Jr., Jeff Sessions, Paul Manafort, Jared Kushner, and George Papadopoulos over the course of many meetings to discuss the campaign.

“They were all such fantastic guys,” she said. “So available, so accessible. It was never hard getting in touch with them. Those were the days!”

However, she said that she was baffled by reports coming out of the White House in recent days indicating that Papadopoulos had played a peripheral role in the campaign. “There are, what, maybe three hundred thousand people here at this reunion?” she said. “We all met with George.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/russians-involved-in-trump-campaign-hold-reunion
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Doan_Du
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:45 pm    Post subject: Researchers Identify Gene for Awfulness Reply with quote

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Researchers Identify Gene for Awfulness

LEEDS (The Borowitz Report)—In a finding that has wide-ranging implications for society, British researchers at the University of Leeds announced on Saturday that they have identified the gene for awfulness.

The study, which focussed on one adult male and three of his adult children, makes a persuasive argument that there is a “powerful dominant gene” that makes people heinous.

“When we began our research, we wanted to find an adult male with pronounced characteristics of horribleness,” Alistair Dorrinson, the scientist who led the study, said. “In studying three of his adult offspring, we found that they were all carriers of the gene that makes one smug, tone-deaf, and oblivious to the fate of others.”

Additionally, certain subtraits of awfulness, such as an inability to tell the truth, appear to be genetically mediated, Dorrinson said.

“If the father is unable to explain honestly why a meeting took place, for example, the son who carries the same gene will also tell crazy lies about that meeting,” he said.

Hopes that the gene for horribleness might eventually become diluted as its carriers mate with the general population were dashed when the scientists studied the mating history of the adult daughter in the sample group.

“Unfortunately, those who carry the gene for awfulness are more likely to reproduce with other carriers of the same gene,” the scientist said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/researchers-identify-gene-for-awfulness
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