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Humour in Politix
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inkling7



Joined: 01 Jun 2008
Posts: 6308
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2017 10:24 pm    Post subject: Rules of cricket vs. Brit elections Reply with quote



That was funny and reminded me of the rules of cricket. super grin

Cricket: As explained to a foreigner...

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.
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Angela



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 504
Location: Los Angeles, CA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 9:40 pm    Post subject: President Trump to Announce Sale of California Reply with quote

See? Even I can laugh at Trump!!! wink

President Trump to Announce Sale of California
>

>
> PRESIDENT TRUMP ANNOUNCES SALE OF CALIFORNIA TO MEXICO
> WASHINGTON DC (AP) - At 12:15 pm today President Trump disclosed that he has reached an agreement with Enrique Pena Nieto, President of Mexico, which provides for the sale of substantially all of the State of California to the country of Mexico. President Trump noted that this deal, which he claims “is his largest real estate deal ever” is a win-win for everyone involved. One of the benefits he says he will highlight during a prime time address from the oval office later this evening, will include using the proceeds received by the US from Mexico to 1) pay for the Wall (fulfilling yet another campaign promise), a wall which will now include the length of the eastern boarder of California, 2) fund all the infrastructure spending in the remaining 49 states and 3) pay to relocate the 67 Republicans that currently reside in California. He also noted that Federal money saved from the reduction of California citizens on US social programs will allow those social programs to be cash positive in less than 3 years.
>
> Mexican President Nieto announced that he has already introduced a bill to the Mexican Congress asking to change his country’s name to MexiCal.
>
> Other benefits President Trump intends to discuss during this evening’s prime time address include:
>
> California will now be able to act as a sanctuary state within MexiCal noting that there is much more room for the refugees who will find the climate in the State of California more desirable than the climate in US cities such as NYC, Detroit or Chicago.
>
> The elimination of the existing border between Mexico and California will allow drugs to flow more freely between Mexico and the users in Hollywood. Drug tunnel diggers at the Tijuana boarder will now be able to use their skills to dig tunnels under Los Angeles to help ease congestion in that city and allow rioters to move about the city’s universities more freely.
>
> The U.S. taxpayer will no longer be on the hook for any future disaster relief required once the next megaquake hits California.
> The space in the Capitol and other DC buildings vacated by representatives of California will be fumigated and turned into “time-out rooms” for the press as well as Liberty Centers where US citizens can meet with their congressmen to discuss the pursuit of economic freedom.
> Nancy Pelosi released a statement stating that she looks forward to making the Mexican President’s life miserable and prefers the year round weather in Mexico City to that of DC. Her office has already announced a schedule of fund raising activities for what is believed to be an upcoming campaign to run for President of MexiCal.
>
> Papers released along with Trump’s statement reveal that a newly incorporated real estate company,pmurT, Inc., which was intimately involved in the deal discussions, will receive a broker fee of $25 billion on the California sale. An anonymous pmurT, Inc representative has revealed that the profits on the deal are HUGE and will be used to purchase, develop and convert all abandoned US Federal facilities in California into special high end retreats and resorts which will assist California residents with managing their euphoria and transition into the nanny state they have so long desired to be.
>
> The exact northern border of the new MexiCal is still under negotiation. Apparently the White House is concerned that certain members of congress may be unwilling to give up California’s wine country and are suggesting that the northern border align with the north end of the Golden Gate Bridge.
>
> California residents will be issued special blue cards to cross the border into the US so that the total number of California liberals entering the US can be tracked and at any point in time not exceed predetermined levels. Residents that remain in California after the effective date of the sale will not be allowed to seek refugee status in the US in the future.
>
> Mexican President Nieto stated he is thrilled with the deal and is looking forward to declaring Spanish the national language for his newly acquired territory and opening SSL (Spanish as a second language) schools throughout California. He also noted that funding for the transaction would come from the Mexican drug cartels, which have agreed to provide low interest loans to Mexico so long as they are allowed to move their cash out of Switzerland and the Cayman Islands back into Mexico tax free. He also said he considers the fact that a Disney park will now be located within his country an added bonus
>
> White House representatives refused to confirm rumors that a similar deal was in the works for the sale of Northeastern states from NY through Maine, to Canada.
>
> President Trump wrapped up his statement stating, “this deal is HUGE and will help Make America, albeit a little smaller, Great Again”.
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Annamite_en_Amérique



Joined: 20 Jun 2009
Posts: 1831
Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 9:52 pm    Post subject: Mitch McConnell shccker Reply with quote

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Mitch McConnell Hospitalized with Low White-Vote Count

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was rushed to the hospital late Monday night with what doctors diagnosed as a low white-vote count.

Doctors at Walter Reed Army Medical Center said that when McConnell arrived at the facility his white-vote count had fallen below fifty and he had gone into shock.

Dr. Harland Dorrinson, a physician at Walter Reed who is monitoring McConnell’s condition, called his low white-vote count “very serious.”

“Mitch McConnell needs a white-vote count of at least fifty in order to function,” he said. “If it falls below fifty and stays there for an extended period of time, he cannot survive.”

Efforts to boost the Senate Majority Leader’s white-vote count have so far proved fruitless, as doctors acknowledged that they have been unable to find additional white votes that are compatible with McConnell.

McConnell was first rushed to Walter Reed after showing symptoms commonly associated with a low white-vote count, including a feeling of hopelessness and uncontrollable sobbing.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/mitch-mcconnell-hospitalized-with-low-white-vote-count
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Annamite_en_Amérique



Joined: 20 Jun 2009
Posts: 1831
Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 9:53 pm    Post subject: Re: President Trump to Announce Sale of California Reply with quote

Angela wrote:
See? Even I can laugh at Trump!!! wink

We see that, Angela! Very funny! Thanks for posting! Very Happy

Though in fact it's not so much laughing at Trump as at the Democrats and Liberals, LOL!
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Angela



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 504
Location: Los Angeles, CA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 3:39 pm    Post subject: Macron's example, or How to motivate a school kid Reply with quote

http://www.avenueviet.com/forums/album_page.php?pic_id=1759

Titled: Macron gives new hope. The teacher is telling the kid "If you work well in school, you can do like Mr. Macron, you can marry me!


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Vixen



Joined: 05 Aug 2007
Posts: 365
Location: Belgium

PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 3:49 pm    Post subject: Re: Macron's example, or How to motivate a school kid Reply with quote

Angela wrote:
Titled: Macron gives new hope. The teacher is telling the kid "If you work well in school, you can do like Mr. Macron, you can marry me!

Hmmm... I'm not sure that marrying someone like Brigitte Macron would be such an incentive for a school boy!!! bleh
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dzu
Herald


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 1391

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2017 12:30 am    Post subject: Mount Rushmore presidents appalled Reply with quote

At the prospect of Trump being added there beside them. Eek



Also have a look at the reactions on Twitter:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-apos-mount-rushmore-101230308.html?.tsrc=daily_mail&uh_test=2_14
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Vixen



Joined: 05 Aug 2007
Posts: 365
Location: Belgium

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2017 12:35 am    Post subject: Re: Mount Rushmore presidents appalled Reply with quote

dzu wrote:
Also have a look at the reactions on Twitter:
https://www.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-apos-mount-rushmore-101230308.html?.tsrc=daily_mail&uh_test=2_14

Some of those comments and pics are hilarious.

Great photomontage on the Prez's reaction!
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Anémone



Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1105
Location: France

PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2017 12:54 am    Post subject: Re: Mount Rushmore presidents appalled Reply with quote

Vixen wrote:
Great photomontage on the Prez's reaction!

The presidents' sculptures reflect my feelings ...

Agreement with you Vixen, the montage is excellent! Very Happy
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Angela



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 504
Location: Los Angeles, CA

PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2017 7:54 pm    Post subject: Caricatures Reply with quote

Political themes / Easily identifiable personalities / Russian text

http://grimnir74.livejournal.com/9278627.html?utm_source=oksharing&utm_medium=social

A few samples:








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Do Quy



Joined: 03 Aug 2007
Posts: 932
Location: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:38 pm    Post subject: Push Trump off a cliff Reply with quote

Hey, this is fun! Try it!

Click on the arrow going right. Have fun with the space bar first. Notice that he cries out differently every time he goes off the cliff.

https://pushtrumpoffacliffagain.com/
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Pols_R_Us



Joined: 07 Mar 2005
Posts: 2696
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 10:54 pm    Post subject: God Isn't Stressing Out About Nuclear War Reply with quote

God Isn't Stressing Out About Nuclear War

The Lord Almighty drops by the Late Show to alleviate Stephen's existential distress.

https://youtu.be/96cdbmCav8Y


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Vroom Vroom



Joined: 15 Jan 2010
Posts: 299
Location: United States Of America

PostPosted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 11:00 pm    Post subject: Re: God Isn't Stressing Out About Nuclear War Reply with quote

Pols_R_Us wrote:
The Lord Almighty drops by the Late Show to alleviate Stephen's existential distress.

Hmm... Some of our members may find this sacrilegious!!! Eek
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Pungconk



Joined: 03 Mar 2005
Posts: 173
Location: NYC

PostPosted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 8:34 pm    Post subject: Re: God Isn't Stressing Out About Nuclear War Reply with quote

Vroom Vroom wrote:
Pols_R_Us wrote:
The Lord Almighty drops by the Late Show to alleviate Stephen's existential distress.

Hmm... Some of our members may find this sacrilegious!!! Eek

It seems the very religious people who would take offense at this aren't coming in any more. They're missed, though. Sad
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