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Abbot and Costello, updated & politicized version

 
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Angela



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 495
Location: Massachusetts or Florida, depending on the season

PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 1:58 pm    Post subject: Abbot and Costello, updated & politicized version Reply with quote

This sounds a lot like "the whose on 3rd skit" for those of you who might remember....

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America .

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 5.6%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.

COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%.

ABBOTT: 5.6% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 5.6% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 23% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that's 5.6%.

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%?

ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work.

COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work.
Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Democrat.

COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said!

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like Hillary.
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MadTimmy



Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 237
Location: Circus

PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 2:44 pm    Post subject: "The whose on 3rd skit" Reply with quote

Quote:
This sounds a lot like "the whose on 3rd skit" for those of you who might remember....

I have no idea what "the whose on 3rd skit" is. Can anyone enlighten me? Question
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Pungconk



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 177
Location: NYC

PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 2:48 pm    Post subject: "The who's on 3rd skit" Reply with quote

It's not "whose" but "who's" - On Google I could only find the 1st, not the 3rd skit.

From Wikipedia:
Quote:
"Who's on First?" is a comedy routine made famous by Abbott and Costello. The premise of the sketch is that Abbott is identifying the players on a baseball team for Costello, but their names and nicknames can be interpreted as non-responsive answers to Costello's questions. For example, the first baseman is named "Who"; thus, the utterance "Who's on first" is ambiguous between the question ("Which person is the first baseman?") and the answer ("The name of the first baseman is 'Who'").

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