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Bubblers, barbies, bottoms and other great questions of our

 
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inkling7
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 1:01 am    Post subject: Bubblers, barbies, bottoms and other great questions of our Reply with quote

Bubblers, barbies, bottoms and other great questions of our time
Date
October 15, 2011

Richard Glover
Broadcaster and Sydney Morning Herald columnist

Parents complain about children who perpetually ask questions beginning with the word ''why''. Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? And why can't I have doughnuts for breakfast?

For me, the mystery isn't why people begin life by asking such questions; the mystery is why we stop asking them. The world, after all, contains so many things that remain baffling, whatever your age.

Six months ago in this column, I posed 35 questions - including ''Why is the word ''onomatopoeic'' not onomatopoeic?''; ''Why is the $1 coin bigger than the $2 coin?''; and ''Why are scissors always sold in plastic packets that require opening with a pair of scissors, since if you had a pair of scissors … ?''

All remain unanswered. Here are some more, just in case this time round someone can provide some solutions.

❏ Why does the electric jug never fit under the tap in the motel bathroom?

❏ Why can't they make a gas barbecue in which the flames are evenly-placed, as opposed to the current arrangement of nuclear holocaust on the left back and stone cold everywhere else?

❏ Why have the individual baked beans in a can of baked beans become smaller? Or did they just seem bigger when I was a child, because my head was little?

❏ If fish oil makes you smart, how come fish aren't brainier?

❏ Why do motels not realise that everyone hates UHT milk and would fall in love with any place that went to the smidgin of effort to provide fresh milk?

❏ Jaunty little hats worn by groovy young men? I'm here, ready to listen and eager to understand.

❏ By which law of physics do computer cables, hanging untouched behind a desk, instantly form themselves into a tightly tangled knot?

❏ Why does traditional media spend so much of its time promoting Facebook and Twitter? Is it a desperate attempt to appear hip? Is it a form of Stockholm syndrome, in which the victim falls in love with his tormentor? Are they just short of copy?

❏ Who designed the CD case, seemingly with the express aim of producing something that would break almost instantly? Was he having a lend of us? Was he angry at the world? Did he want to leave us as unhinged as his product?

❏ Why was the human male designed so that the testicles are at precisely the right height to be headbutted by a careering toddler? Was this an early evolutionary attempt at population control? Or is it just a very brutal form of sibling rivalry in which the toddler attempts to prevent the future baby sister even being conceived?

❏ Why are there different moisturisers for different parts of the body? What happens if you put the ''hands and feet'' on your face?

❏ Why is the supermarket arranged so you start with the fruit and vegetables in the bottom of your trolley, then pile all the heavy milk and canned stuff on top? Why don't supermarkets arrange it the other way round?

❏ Why do people criticise older fathers? Having a child at age 60 makes perfect sense, since you're already getting out of bed three or four times a night.

❏ Why don't they put the petrol cap back where it used to be, there on the back of the car, so you don't need to remember which side it's on every time you drive into the petrol station?

❏ Why do electric jugs break down all the time, while toasters go on forever?

❏ Why does the chance of a light bulb going bung rise according to the distance it is from the ground, with the one in the atrium that can only be reached with an extension ladder needing changing every second day?

❏ Why does the TV news believe it has to illustrate each story with footage of an appropriate object, so that a story on the Australian dollar comes complete with a shot of someone counting dollars and a story on obesity comes complete with a picture of a fat person's bottom as they walk through a food court? Do they think we may have forgotten what a fat bottom looks like in the three days since they last ran this footage?

❏ Who owns the fat bottom they always show? Does that person watch the ABC? Does it make them feel bad every time they see it? Are they now on a diet?

❏ Why are the most catchy songs also the most annoying?

❏ How come my computer loads updates every evening as I turn it off? How many updates can there be? What do they contain? Won't the computer just end up full?

❏ Beards? They're back? Even on the stockbroker featured on News 24? Really?

❏ And finally, why do bubblers never work? How hard can it be? Why is it either a pressure hose straight in the face, or a dribble that forces you to hover with your mouth a millimetre from the metal, petrified of germs?

Really, we could hold our own version of Q&A. Any questions? More importantly, any answers?

WHY indeed!
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Location: Smurfland

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 4:47 pm    Post subject: Re: Bubblers, barbies, bottoms and other great questions of Reply with quote

inkling7 wrote:
❏ And finally, why do bubblers never work? How hard can it be? Why is it either a pressure hose straight in the face, or a dribble that forces you to hover with your mouth a millimetre from the metal, petrified of germs?

Ummm... What are "bubblers"? wonder
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inkling7
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 11:06 pm    Post subject: Bubblers Reply with quote

You may call them drinking fountains in the US and they are often found in parks and you turn on a tap and water comes out.
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